Pink Flying Pigs

Today is my birthday, but that's okay, you don't have to go out and buy me an expensive gift. I didn't give you much warning, you know, so I don't expect any little sparkly, glittery thing that costs a lot of money. I'm not that kind of person anyway - I'm more of a blue jeans and t-shirt person and diamonds just don't fit well with that kind of haute couture.

Here's a picture of my 6th birthday party. Not a big deal - just me and the neighbor kids.


I think this was the spring before I started school. We didn't have kindergarten "way back then" so I would have been going into first grade the following September. That's me in the middle with the blonde hair. Note the rolled up blue jeans and the jean boots. I was a cool kid even way back then - I had a big sister that followed all the latest trends so I just followed her style. Does anybody else remember jean boots? They were about ankle high and had a chain that jingled that hung on the side of the boot and attached somewhere on the front. Oh, I thought I was so cool. The girl to the right had rolled up jeans and jean boots too, although you can't see them because the picture is so dark. My big sister was her mentor also.

The shirt I was wearing was pink with flying pigs all over it. Isn't it funny how there are certain pieces of clothing that you had as a little kid that you remember so vividly? The pink flying pigs must have been the memory provoking item there, huh? Can you imagine putting pink flying pigs on your kids clothing today? They'd be laughed out of school in about 5 seconds!!

So what is your most memorable birthday? What made the biggest impact on you?

The first one that comes to mind is the year that Ole hired a male stripper for me!! But I'm not going to talk about that here (snicker).

Instead I'll tell you about the one that left me speechless for three days after. On my 40th birthday Ole planned a little surprise party and invited some close friends over for the evening. You know - the barbecue thing, etc. Very low key. That is until it came time for him to give me my birthday present.

Farmer Neighbor Dave owned a classic 1975 Corvette with T-tops - red no less. So the night of my birthday was a beautiful spring evening and Farmer Neighbor Dave decided to drive his Corvette with the t-tops out (of course) over to our house for the evening. When he arrived he drove his car right up onto my front yard - right up to the front door - and parked it on my grass. Now anybody who knows me knows that I'm VERY particular about my yard. When he walked in the door I immediately asked him who in the world he thought he was parking on my front lawn!!! That's when Ole presented me with the title to Farmer Neighbor Dave's red corvette with the t-tops. He said he thought I needed a red corvette when I turned 40!!

I had a lot of fun with that car for a few years, but due to a chronic back problem it just wasn't the most comfortable car to drive. You sit very low to the ground and in an extremely reclined position when you're driving. Almost like your behind is dragging on the ground. So every time I drove it for any period of time I climbed out of it with a serious backache. So after a few years I sold it and gave Ole the money to put towards a new Harley Davidson motorcycle. Now I ride on the back and actually have a lot more fun because we're riding together instead of me in my Corvette and Ole in one of his old cars.

So history has repeated itself and Ole gave me another car for my birthday - only this time it was an SUV - and it came earlier than my birthday, but that's okay. I needed it. When I was 40 he thought I needed something wild like a red Corvette. Now that I'm *&@# he thought I needed something practical like an SUV. At least I don't have to feel like I'm dragging my behind on the ground this time.

Is that supposed to tell me something?

Anyway - just wish me happy birthday and I'll be satisfied. Aren't I easy to please?

I am still alive - I think!!

First of all, thank you to all of you who have been concerned because I haven't posted for such a long time. Let me assure you, I'm okay - just needed a bit of a sabbatical from everything. Unfortunately there were some things I just couldn't get away from and had to deal with so I had to pick my priorities to try to keep my sanity. I'm sorry, but Tales from Frostbite Falls didn't make the top of the list. I just want all of you to know that I truly appreciate your concern.

Let's see now - I think last time you heard from me the "Waters" were receding and my car was acting up and being naughty. Both of those problems have been fixed, or are in the process.

We've just gotten started on cleaning up the mess left from the flood. Ole and I have spent many days hauling junk, raking cornstalks, wheat chaff and river reeds into piles and burning them, removing logs, dead trees, railroad ties, oil drums and fuel oil barrels. And that's what's on the outside. The river is finally completely back in its banks, but the ground is still pretty squishy so all the cleanup has had to be done manually because the ground is too soft to drive a tractor on. You'd get stuck in a heartbeat. What remains now is to get the river silt and muck cleaned out of the storage building and out of Ole's shop. And it stinks. Bad. Like rotten vegetation on a warm day. Yuck. But we will survive and it will get done. I just say thanks on a daily basis that our house didn't go under like so many others in our area.

My car issue is also solved. My van has been replaced by a Ford Expedition - a full-sized SUV. Metallic gray with lots of bells and whistles on it. Yes, I know it has a reputation as a gas guzzler, but according to the computer it gets 20 mph on the highway and 16 in town. That's better than the van did so I consider it a step up in many ways - comfort and economy.

Then, along came a dog issue. This is very unpleasant to write about and has disturbed Ole and I to no end. As many of you know Lovely Daughter had to leave her doggers behind when she and hubby moved into town. Beau and Daisy were used to being with us most of the time anyway. We took them with us this winter when we traveled and we were so proud of the way they behaved. A lady and a gentleman in every way. Neither of these dogs has ever bit anyone - ever. Daisy is 8 and Beau is 6. That is - until two days ago.

Ole and I were out in the back yard with both dogs and we were expecting an old buddy of Ole's to arrive. The doggers of course heard him drive up and went barreling around the corner to the front yard barking with Ole after them. Now this old friend has been around both of these dogs before many times, wasn't scared of them, and has big dogs of his own. Beau went charging toward him, jumped at him and grabbed his upper arm but fortunately didn't get through his jacket or break the skin. Ole went flying after Beau, pulled him by the collar off of the friend, took his cap off and started swatting Beau across the behind with the cap. That's the only thing these dogs have ever been hit with is Ole's cap - more humiliating than painful. That's when Beau turned around, grabbed Ole's calf just below the knee through the blue jeans and bit him hard enough to leave scratches and a large black and blue mark. Then he twisted somehow and got ahold of Ole's right hand, the one holding the cap, and left four very deep puncture wounds above his thumb. The blood was running fast and furiously by the time Ole let go of his collar. We cleaned up the wound as best we could, soaked his hand in Epsom salts and then went immediately to the clinic where he received treatment. There was talk of stitches, but after further conversation the doctor decided not to stitch in case it became infected.

Lovely Daughter and Lars were in a town about 100 miles away helping a friend move so they weren't available when all this was going on. I called her and told her that Beau couldn't live at our house anymore and that she would have to pick him up when she returned home. It's unfortunate that they are leaving on a week's vacation tonight and had to find a place for the dog on such short notice, but neither Ole nor I felt we could keep the dog for that long if we couldn't trust him. So they took him home on Saturday night and this afternoon when Lars was going to run some errands and was going to put Beau in the crate, Beau turned around and bit Lars, too. Didn't break the skin but definitely left marks.

Now what do you suppose would cause a dog to turn like that? It's almost as if a switch in his brain has been flipped. I have noticed that since we got home from our winter trip that he has become more aggressive and more difficult to control, but Ole is the last person I thought he would ever get after.

So Beau doesn't live here anymore, and yes, there is a big empty spot for both of us as we're used to having two dogs around. But Daisy is the one that's suffering the most at this point. She's truly missing her buddy and having someone to boss around. We can tell she's very insecure so we're trying to give her lots of extra attention. I suppose it will take a bit of time before she adapts.

Let this be a lesson to all of you - NEVER bite the hand that feeds you!!

Love Lena

Can anything more go wrong?

First of all, I really need to apologize to all of you - I haven't been keeping up on reading blogs at all for many weeks. I guess it's been because I've been just a wee bit preoccupied with other things - like water and flooding and blizzards and worrying and sleepless nights and peering out the window wondering how high the water is NOW!!

I really hate to write about "downers" but I just have to this time. I have to let off some steam - vent, you know. Otherwise I'll explode - or cry - something.

Does anybody else believe that cars have personalities? I'm beginning to. I think mine is truly mad at me and I don't know why. All I've tried to do is take good care of it and now - well, things are not good. I bought my car new 10 years ago, a Chevy Venture van. This is about the fourth van I've had and would find it hard to go back to a conventional car anymore. Vans are just so much more roomy and comfortable and you can haul so much more "stuff" with them. And besides that, you sit up higher than a conventional car - and for those of you who drive in Minnesota in the wintertime, you know how nice it is to look over that snow that's blowing across the highway instead of trying to look through it. Anyway - I love my van - especially this one. So a few years ago when Ole asked me if I didn't want to trade it off for something newer I said no. I didn't see any need to - besides - why make car payments when you don't have to. I've taken very good care of my van all these years and all these years it's been there for me. Never dumped on me on the highway, never cost me any money except for general maintenance, etc.

Well, about a year ago I decided the poor little van was getting to a point where it wasn't a good economical decision to carry full coverage insurance on it anymore. It had aged to the point where it wasn't worth much dollarwise. You know how it is when you get old - you're just not as valuable. So I dropped the full coverage insurance and two days later a rock hit me in the windshield and put not just a chip in, but a big crack!! Isn't that just the way it goes. About two weeks later a sugar beet flew out of somebody's truck and of course landed on my windshield and I got another crack. I priced out a new windshield - well over $700 - so Ole decided because of the age of the vehicle I would just have to make do. So I did. And my little van purred along just fine.

Well, this winter when we were in Albuquerque one of Big Brother's friends, who is a glassman, told me he would replace my windshield for his cost - $230. So I jumped at the chance and had him do it. Obviously my little van didn't like having her parts replaced because she's been acting up ever since. We were driving down the street in a huge rainstorm (still in Albuquerque - yes it rains there) and my windshield wipers started acting up. They'd get to the top of the upswing and wouldn't go back down - just sit there and grind away. Ole said he would fix that when we got home.

Of course that didn't happen because when we got home we were flooded and Ole had a foot of water in his shop. He still hasn't been able to get back to work in his shop (some two weeks later) due to all the debris and slime. So I took my little van into a dealership to have it worked on and $200 later came out with a new windshield wiper motor. Two days later I was in town running errands, dodging all the dikes that are still up protecting homes and trying to find my way home through all the detours when my little van started to jerk horribly when it would shift from one gear to another. "Oh, no," I said, (well, actually I said more than that but I'll keep this nice) "now I'm having issues with the transmission!" And I KNEW that was going to be an expensive fix, and one that Ole couldn't do even if he could get the car in his shop. So I called Ole and he told me to get it over to the dealership where my friend works and have them put it on the computer.

Well, I did. And I sure didn't like the answer I got. Some little doohickey that sends information to the other doohickey and shifts some valve that does something else when the transmission shifts is bad. The mechanic's advice was to drive the car until it's dead because it will cost more to fix it (upwards of three grand) than the car is worth. The funny thing was when the mechanic took my little car for a test drive it ran fine. Now isn't that just the way of a naughty child? But he said the computer indicated the doohickey was bad and that it would act up intermittently until it just would quit working completely. Boy, that didn't leave me with a feeling of confidence - much!!

So I drove the naughty little car home and parked it in the garage. My car lives in a heated garage, never has to sit in the sun or the 40 below temperatures in the winter. Don't I treat my car nice? It really shouldn't have any bitches!!! BUT - a couple of days later we were going to church and it started up just fine, took us to church, down to the community pancake feed afterwards and then home again. Later than afternoon Ole backed it out of the garage to hose all the dirt out of the garage that's been accumulating. When he was done he was going to move the car back in and it was deader than a doornail. Wouldn't even grunt. Well, after much fooling around and testing stuff, Ole and Lars dragged out the jumper cables and got it going good enough to get it back in the garage. Then they took off the Wal-mart, bought a new battery (another $100) and replaced the old one.

So I very tentatively drove the 10 miles to town yesterday to hit the grocery store and (fingers crossed) everything went fine - this time. I guess my car didn't want the windshield replaced - just wanted to stay completely intact - wanted all her original parts because she's certainly been naughty since I did that.

Anyway - now I'm looking for a different vehicle. I HATE that. I especially hate the thought of car payments. We've always managed to pay cash for my cars, but of course ten years ago and previous to that cars weren't upwards of $30,000 either. And this time I want an SUV so I can sit even HIGHER off the ground so not only can I see over the snowbanks in the winter, I won't get my feet wet in the next flood!!

Yes, People, we're going to have ANOTHER flood. The prediction for Fargo and Moorhead is that it's to be even higher than the previous crest which was a record breaker. And I didn't think our river (Buffalo) would do much this time around, but every day this week the weather bureau has been increasing the crest predictions by 6 inches to a foot. Last weekend they said it would crest at 12 feet, which is barely flood stage. Last night, after changing things three times, they've upped it to 16.7 feet - which will put it back in our storage building, very close to inside Ole's shop again, and once more put our driveway under water.

What's going on here? Why is God testing us to this extent? I just don't know if I can take the stress of watching that water come again and not lose my marbles this time.

Things have got to change soon or I'm going to check myself into the state mental institution. Then I can just sing songs all day, rocking in my rocking chair and I won't have to deal with all this shit!!

Love Lena

Ole and Lena's Meme

I read this meme on Kitchen Logic’s blog the other day. How fun. And how nice to have a diversion from all the flood stuff so I thought I’d give it a go:

♥ What are your middle names?
Joyce and David

♥ How long have you been together?
We’ll be celebrating 42 years of married “bliss” this May. Just so you know, I was 10 years old when we got married (chuckle).

♥ How long did you know each other before you started dating?
We met when we were seniors in high school, and after a couple of weeks of giving each other the “eye” started dating.

♥ Who asked who out?
Well, technically I guess I asked him out on a real date first. I asked him to the Sadie Hawkins dance. But somehow, prior to me asking him to that dance, we ended up together in his car “dragging Broadway,” just like in American Graffiti.

♥ How old are each of you?Now you KNOW you never ask a lady her age, but Ole will be 62 shortly.

♥ Whose siblings do/ did you see the most?
Well, considering Ole has one sister that lives on the west coast and due to the fact that they haven’t spoken to each other since 1986, we don’t see her at all. Lovely Daughter calls her the Wicked Witch of the West (snicker). My Big Brother lives in the southwest and we’re best buds. We visit him at least once a year.

♥ Do you have any children together?
Yes, Lovely Daughter.

♥ What about pets?
Well now, technically or emotionally? There’s a difference you know. I am owned by two cats, Senior Citizen Simon (17) and Lucy (1). Technically we don’t have two dogs, they belong to Lovely Daughter – BUT – we ended up taking Beau and Daisy with us traveling this past winter because Lovely Daughter and hubby bought a house in the Big City and their yard isn’t fenced yet. She also found out that if she has two German Shepherds on her property in town that her homeowners insurance will be raised by $75 a month due to the liabilities!!! So do you see the handwriting on the wall here? (chuckle).

♥ Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Now that’s really a hard one to answer at this point because situations have changed so much since Ole retired 7 years ago. He used to travel a lot in his job – and that was difficult for me. But since that’s not an issue anymore I can’t think of anything!!

♥ Did you go to the same school?
Yup. Sure did. Ole often says we both graduated from our school with a complex because our mascot was a potato. We were called the Moorhead Spuds because we live in the middle of the Red River Valley which is famous for growing potatoes/spuds. Just imagine going to a high school basketball or football game and the opposition cheerleaders would get out on the floor and yell, “Mash those spuds, mash those spuds!!”

♥ Are you from the same home town?
Well, not exactly. He grew up in the Big City, I grew up in little village, just a half mile from where we live right now.

♥ Who is smarter?
Ole is a very intelligent person with a lot of common sense. One doesn’t always go with the other, you know. And he always tells me I’m the smartest person he knows. So either he doesn’t know many smart people or - - well, I don’t know. We both grew up in the School of Hard Knocks so we had to have a lot of common sense. He’s an extremely mechanically minded person and can figure things out just by looking at them. I’m much more analytical. I don’t know – does any of this make sense? Oh, well . . .

♥ Who is more sensitive?
Definitely me. You know how men are. Sometimes they just don’t get it.

♥ Where do you eat out most as a couple?
We’ve really cut back on that this winter – out of boredom I think. We’ve got a number of favorite restaurants, but always seem to end up at The Watering Hole for burgers. That’s the little hole in the wall bar/grille in our little town. Sometimes it’s just too much effort to go elsewhere so we settle for that. They make great burgers – big enough that they flop over the edge of the bun.

♥ Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
All over Europe and the Mediterranean. Lived in Iceland for two years.

♥ Who has the craziest exes?
Neither of us – it’s the “first” marriage for both of us. Ole says I’m still on probation though. He hasn’t decided whether he’s actually going to keep me or not.

♥ Who has the worse temper?
That would be me!! It takes a lot to make me mad, and a long time, but when you’ve finally got me backed into a corner, look out. Ole just bought me a .38 special (that’s a revolver) when we were down south, for self-protection in this crazy world. Now he’s beginning to wonder if that truly was a good idea!! (just kidding, people, just kidding.)

♥ Who does the cooking?
Since Ole retired he’s taken on more of that responsibility. He had to if he wanted to eat (snicker). When he retired I told him I had been cooking for 35 years and I was going to retire from that too!!

♥ Who is more social?
Ole is. He’s always got to be going somewhere and doing something. I reach a point of saturation where I just need time alone and time at home.

♥ Who is the neat-freak?
I am, most definitely. If it was up to Ole there would be a path from the back door to the refrigerator and then to the bed. I must say I’ve lightened up over the last years, though. I’m more prone to leave the dog hair on the floor for a day or two and not vacuum every day.

♥ Who is more stubborn?
That’s definitely a tie. Sure is a good thing we’re not stubborn about the same issues.

♥ Who hogs the bed?
Boy is that an easy one. That’s definitely Ole. He wants his half – the middle half. We have a king at home so it’s not a problem, but there’s only a queen in the RV – so that created a problem, especially when the doggers thought they had to be in bed too. Needless to say, they’re NOT ALLOWED on the bed here at home.

♥ Who wakes up earlier?
That would be me. It didn’t used to be that way until the doggers came to live with us. They are definitely on a schedule (their own) and want to get out promptly at 6:30 every morning. Somehow Ole manages to sleep through the cold noses poking on your arms and the dog breath panting in your face, so they come over to me and start being obnoxious.

♥ Where was your first date?
Well, our very first date, technically, was the Sadie Hawkens dance, which I invited him to of course, being it was Sadie Hawkins Day and everything. But we went out again the following weekend and played miniature golf – and I beat him.

♥ Who has the bigger family?
Neither of us has a big family. Both of Ole’s parents are gone as are mine. Ole has one sister that he hasn’t communicated with since 1986 (she’s a real witch). I have one brother and had a sister who passed in 1993 at the age of 56 from a heart attack. I consider my nieces and nephews part of my family. Big Brother has one son who is married and has two wonderful little boys. They’re the ones we visited when we were in Vegas last winter. My sister had three children, two girls and a boy, none of whom speak to me anymore due to issues over my mother’s estate. Mom had a will and a trust which was administered by a trust officer, not by a family member. When Mom died everything was passed out according to her will. Long story short, my sister’s three kids didn’t think they got their fair share, when in reality they got about 30% more than the other grandchildren. Now, isn’t that more than you wanted to know about who has the bigger family?

♥ Do you get flowers often?
Well, yes and no. Ole doesn’t have bouquets delivered, if that’s what you mean. But every once in awhile will come home with something from the grocery store or a potted plant or something to plant in my garden. Just as thoughtful and longer lasting.

♥ How do you spend the holidays?
Always as a family – Ole and me and Lovely Daughter and Lars. I’ve always done all the cooking and hosting, etc., but now that Lovely Daughter and her hubby have moved into a “real” house we’re invited there for Easter. I’m excited.

♥ How long did it take to get serious?
Serious about what? I would imagine you mean about each other? Well, that was after the first date I think. From that point on neither of us went out with anyone else. So I guess that’s pretty serious.

♥ Who eats more?
That’s a good question – difficult to tell by our waistlines especially after this winter of traveling and not enough exercise. Even poor Daisy (dogger) got chubby. Ole eats more at one sitting but only eats three times a day. I consume small amounts throughout the day.

♥ Who does/ did the laundry?
That would definitely be me. Ole makes ‘em dirty and I make ‘em clean.

♥ Who’s better with the computer?
That would be me too. I think it must be genetically absorbed from Big Brother. He’s a computer nerd and I seem to be able to figure things out too – where when Ole runs into a problem he asks me to fix it.

♥ Who drives when you are together?
Ole always drives the RV. I haven’t tackled that yet, although I know I need to. I drove our old one, but that was much smaller. This one is 40 feet and usually has a car or trailer of some sort dragging behind. That’s a lot of “stuff” going down the road, you know. When we go somewhere in my car, I usually drive. When we go somewhere in the pickup, Ole usually drives. I think it’s because we’ve each got different settings for the seat and steering wheel and it’s a pain to be readjusting them all the time. And of course he drives the Harley and I just ride behind taking in all the sights. I always tell him I’m the official Picture Taker.

Well, there you have it Folks. More than you probably want to know. I’m sick of writing about the flood so it’s nice to have a diversion. Just for your info, the Red River has gone down some, but we now have a second flood crest predicted for about the middle of the month – prediction is that it will be higher than the first one which was a record setter. I was in town running errands yesterday and got tangled up in all the dikes trying to find my way home – what a mess and so confusing. I feel so sorry for the people who are living on the wrong side of the dikes. They haven’t a prayer.

Now you all chime in - I'd love to know everything about all of you!!

Love Lena

It's What you DON'T See

I received the following in an email from a friend this morning. I feel it's definitely worth passing on. It says a lot about the people of the Upper Midwest.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Just a personal observation...as I watched the news coverage of the
massive flooding in the Midwest with the levee's about to break in Fargo, ND, what amazed me is not what we saw, but what we didn't see...

1. We don't see looting.

2. We don't see street violence.

3. We don't see people sitting on their rooftops waiting for the government to come and save them.

4. We don't see people waiting on the government to do anything.

5. We don't see Hollywood organizing benefits to raise money for
people to rebuild.

6. We don't see people blaming President Obama.

7. We don't see people ignoring evacuation orders.

8. We don't see people blaming a government conspiracy to blow up the levees as the reason some have not held.

9. We don't see the US Senators or the Governors of North Dakota or Minnesota crying on TV.

10. We don't see the Mayors of any of these cities complaining about the lack of state or federal response.

11. We don't see or hear reports of the police going around confiscating personal firearms so only the criminal will be armed.

12. We don't see gangs of people going around and randomly shooting at the rescue workers.

13. You don't see some leaders in this country blaming the bad behavior of the North Dakota/Minnesota flood victims on "society".

Enough said!

Love Lena