Thursday, May 28, 2009
Last One In is a Rotten Egg
Yup - that's right - there are two seasons in Minnesota - winter and mosquito season which coincides with construction season here in this great state. And this year we've got plenty of both. The snow and the water finally disappeared and left lots of nice swamps and sloughs for the mosquitoes to hatch and lots of holes in the highways along with mushy gravel roads that are still in the process of trying to dry out from the flood. But that's a little hard when it rains buckets every other day. So we flounder in the mud.
Now I'm sure you've all heard of something called the Mosquito Dance. At this time of year it's the latest craze in Minnesota. Nobody even has to teach you how to do it - it comes naturally if you live or visit here. When you see someone wildly waving their arms over their head, swatting their arms and legs with their hands and keeping their feet moving you'll know that you're witnessing the Mosquito Dance. And all this without any music! Those talented people.
Occasionally you'll see folks walking around completely covered in army green netting from head to foot. You've seen those net head pieces that beekeepers wear - well imagine covering your entire body in that type of thing. You end up looking like a moldy mummy, but at least those pesky little buzzards can't be Dracula and suck your last drop of blood from your body.
The first thing Ole does when small children come to our house is tie their ankle to a concrete block. Otherwise the mosquitoes would carry them off. You think that picture to the right is just a joke - well, you're wrong. It actually happens!!
Ole always tells me he knows that summer is here when I change my perfume from Evening in Paris (remember that blue bottle?) to Off that comes out of a spray can.
And that's another thing - a few years ago they used to tell you NOT to buy mosquito spray that had DEET in it because it was carcinogenic. I believe it probably is because when you spray it on your bare skin your skin dries up and falls off. Now - since they have found out that mosquitoes carry the "swamp disease" (West Nile virus) and that you can die from it - you're told to buy mosquito spray with the highest DEET content you can find. I have found a spray that is 45% DEET - so you can admire my bare bones by the end of the summer. So pick your poison - carcinogenic bug spray or swamp disease.
Farmer Neighbor Dave's son had West Nile a couple of summers ago. He was a healthy young man to begin with, came down with West Nile and was extremely ill for an entire summer. And it's left him with permanent after effects. So I guess it's nothing to fool around with.
You'll have to excuse me now. I have to go get my moldy green mummy outfit on now and go mow the grass.