Monday, September 20, 2010

I think/hope I have my life back now

I've had company since the end of August. That's a looonnng time. Not that I haven't enjoyed it (to a point) but that's a long time to have a number of other people in your house as guests. I had three until the week after Labor Day, and then the couple left and my brother stayed. He just pulled out this morning to head for home - so now I'm starting to sort out my life again, try to get back to a normal schedule and play catch up. We did have a grand time, but there's something to be said for getting back to your routine and sleep schedule.

Something happened today that has broken my heart. Several years ago there was a woman that I thought was a good friend of mine that interferred with my family and caused a very large rift at the time that hasn't truly healed yet. I'm not sure that it ever will from my end. She stepped between Lovely Daughter and I for reasons that I won't go into at this point in time, and because of her my daughter didn't speak to me for several months. Needless to say, this woman is no longer my friend - she is only an acquaintance. At this point in time I can manage to be civil to her, but have difficulty being in the same room with her for more than short periods of time.

She is married to what I thought was a genuine gentleman - that is I thought so until today. Even though I no longer associate with this woman on a social level I considered her husband as a friend. He comes out here to visit with Ole, sits in my kitchen and has coffee, etc. He and I have had some serious conversations as to why I can't be friends with his wife anymore, and he SAID he understood. As he told me, I apparently wasn't the first person to have these issues with her.

This afternoon I had occasion to call Ole on his cell phone. When he answered I heard this "friend" in the background say, "Uh-oh. That must be the Wicked Witch of the West!" I'm sure he didn't realize that I could hear what he was saying. I was crushed that he would say that. I guess you never REALLY know what people think of you.

I became quite angry and told Ole to pass the word on that I had heard what he said that yes, this was the Wicked Witch of the West and then hung up, and started to cry. Immediately, the phone rang again - it was Ole, but I didn't answer. Then the phone rang again and it was the phone number of the house that Ole and this "friend" were at. I'm sure the lady of the house, who was participating in the conversation at the time was trying to make excuses, etc. I was in no mood to talk to her and didn't answer the phone that time either.

How would YOU have reacted to this incident? I'd truly like to know.

Love Lena


Carolyn said...

Dearest Lena,
I'm so sorry. I'm afraid I probably would have reacted in the same way. I'm a bit oblivious in my world, so when I do get my feelings hurt...they're REALLY hurt. I remember this woman and her background. Her husband knows what kind of two-faced person she is. The fact that he continues to be with her and would in fact discuss her issues with you...says volumes about what kind of man he is. If he truly feels badly about what happened I hope he gives you a sincere apology. Perhaps he was trying to be funny? If not, at least now you know where you stand with him. HUGS!

harrietv said...

It seems to me you have to let them -- both husband and wife -- know that it was hurtful. (You don't have to tell them they made you cry.)

So you tell Ole that you will have nothing to do with either of them. If he want to continue his friendship with the husband, that's his business. But also let him know that you are not so stupid that you will allow yourself to be hurt by such people.

My older daughter says, every time she loses a friend, she makes two new ones. Some friends are not meant to be forever. And some people who call themselves friends are NOT.

Jean said...

You were more polite than I would have been. I'd have probably had Ole hand the phone over and had a few choice words to say. And I might have to tell Darling Ole to make another friend.

Hmph. Some people just plain SUCK.

Memaw's memories said...

I'm so sorry this man let you down. It's not what I would have done, it's what I would do in the future. These people would not ever set foot in my house again, much less drink my coffee. He may have been joking but with what has transpired in the past, NOT FUNNY!

He owes you a giant apology! But he'd have a hard time making it.

Did this throw Ole right in the middle of all this? Poor guy.

Shake the dust off your feet where these people are concerned, and get on with your life. Don't need them.

Anonymous said...

I would first find out the context in which that was spoken. Maybe it was part of a larger, silly discussion. Or, perhaps your friend was saying he regretted that his wife felt you were a witch.

Have we not said about our men at times, "the big jerk"? Now, if the phone rang right after that, the friend might easily say, "That's the big jerk now, I bet."

--Someone who has quietly enjoyed your blog for quite some time.

Marge said...

I probably would have ignored the phone calls just as you did. I cry easily when hurt....and then I get really angry! Yelling kind of angry!

Bed sweet Ole was upset, too.

Blessings, my friend.

Marge said...

That would be "bet" sweet Ole......

Anonymous said...

Speaking of witches, I just thought you might like to know that if Jane's name has initials that relate to a movie that contains a witch, it took me only five minutes to find her. I was not trying to be nosy about YOU. I just like to practice my internet sleuthing skills by seeing how fast I can figure out something like this (which is why I am not posting the name of the person I think it is, and why I do not expect/want you to answer yeah/nay). I am passing this along just in case there might be some legal implications involving some of your posts. You and your husband seem like such wonderful, caring people that I would hate for any grief to come to you from venting about someone who seems to have been hellbent on hurting your family.

Hugs to you both from even further north.